Powerful Words: Stop Gossiping Around and Be a Tool to Positively
Impact People
It has never been about what people are saying about you, but rather, who is talking about you. Words are powerful and they can shape you and others. Nonetheless, we have to be careful and wise in using them not to harm people, but to lift them.
The other day we had a training in the office where we were tasked to come up with only good words about our colleagues. I have never done that before in a professional setting, and afterward, that was extremely rewarding. Assuming we are being honest here, and generally speaking, we tend to just talk negatively about other people and spread gossip around. And that is not good. I am in no position here to lecture you about that, so let me cut the chase and explain the dynamics of what happened.
We were all sitting in a U-shape meeting room, and we had the facilitator of that training present the guidelines and other stuff. Specifically, for this task, we were given a blank sheet of paper and we should leave it right in front of us. We also had a sign with our names, which ultimately served to let our coworkers know who was sitting in that particular place. That being said, our job was simply walking around the desk and writing good things about our coworkers. The only rule is that it should be a good thing and serious at the same time — jokes and sarcasm should be saved for another day. We were free to write a nice word of encouragement, a good and positive thought we had about a person, and that included people with whom we were working directly or not.
As you can see by now, this was not a rocket science experiment. It was a very simple and straightforward task. In fact, and surprisingly, it was very much rewarded and regarded by all of us. To explain why, I want to share some of the things I learned that very day. Here are five reasons why you should do the same:
1 — Think Good Things About Those People You like.
It is very easy to see the good things in those we feel connected with. We can compliment them for several reasons. Likewise, we can acknowledge their importance in our lives and our teams. Yet, the tricky thing here is, that most of the time, we do not stretch this muscle. Putting it differently, we do not say the good things we think of them very much, and the reasons for that can be countless, right?!
Have you said to your team how good they are? Have you told your boss how much you appreciate working under his/her leadership? Today, you have the chance to practice that. I bet somebody needs to hear a good word from you.
2 — Have a Good Eye for Those People You Are Not Familiar With.
We all have come across some people that we just feel like we, for whatever reason, do not like or avoid, right?! I hope you are honest enough with yourself to admit that. However, under those circumstances, we were forced to think of something good about that person. That was great, because, the bottom line is that everybody has some good characteristics and skills and if you look with a good eye, you will be able to pinpoint that. You don’t need to lie. If you could not think of anything good, you could just skip that person and move on, but this training was not meant to be that way.
With that in mind, I challenge you to think about a good thing that somebody you do not like has. Practice that, it is free.
3 — Don’t Be a Narcissist.
We all like to hear some compliments here and there, don’t we?! It feels good, and it should. But notably, this task was focused on what we would say about somebody. It was about giving after all. Of course, we were curious to see what people were writing about us, but at the end of the day, our job was to give and not to take.
Think of approaches that can help you to bridge the gap between give and take. Balance is everything, and the world does not revolve around you.
4 — Fight the Impostor Syndrome.
In all honesty, we all have those days when we feel unworthy, especially when things are not going well. When the struggle knocks on our doors, or when we are running out of juice, is that when we need some words of encouragement and some people to support us? That is to say, the sheet of paper that was once completely blank is now a tool that helps me to recompose myself and see the good things people see in me.
Be kind to yourself and picture everything you have done and accomplished so far. You deserve that!
5 — To Give is To Receive.
As a result of this, I want to share what they have written about me. You have no idea of how this piece of paper, filled with good words, has impacted me over time. It amazes me how powerful this really is, and you can only feel that if you put my shoes on. So, I strongly encourage you to try that out with your team.
The most compelling evidence is that I deeply care about this paper. Please don’t get me wrong, this sheet, by any means, defines me; however, it gives me a perspective and reinforces things I know. But more importantly, things I did not know. For instance, I was unaware that somebody thought that I am “Intelligent + Thoughtful”, or that I am “Always willing to lend a hand”. How cool is that, huh?!
Wrapping Things Up.
All things considered, it is not really what people talk, about but who talks about you, and I hope that makes sense now. Invest your time in seeking the good that is in people — gossip is consuming and worthless. You and I are better than that. Additionally, you have nothing to lose in calibrating your mindset to better yourself, and finally, you take a chance and test this thing out. Let me know how it goes.
Here is my sheet:
